Thanksgiving

I am writing this post with a semi-grateful semi-ungrateful attitude today.  I have put off posting anything of this nature, because I hate to appear like I don't appreciate my life.  I know that I am blessed to have three beautiful kids. I know that having a perfect house is not the priority in life.  I know that we are "living the dream" as we go on an adventure of a lifetime living in New Hampshire while my husbands attends an ivy league graduate program.  I know I should take time to "stop and smell the roses".  I know that soo many other people have it way worse than I do.  I know that I should appreciate my job more, because truly we could not live without it.  I know that I will look back on these days someday and say....wow, those were the good ol' days.  I know that life will always have challenges, those are what make us grow and learn to become more like God.  I know that I need to venture out more and seek out friends, instead of waiting for them to come to me.  I know that I will wish back on my childrens childhood someday.  I know that I do have some really great friends here in NH.  I know I have been incredibly lucky to have multiple Toronto family members come out and visit us/babysit for us while I work.

But.........................

*I wish my Mommy could come visit me, or I could go visit her.  This is by far the longest I have ever gone not seeing her.  Exactly 122 days that is, and unfortunately I probably won't see her until next May/June.

*I wish that I could have another baby.  Seriously, I see others around me announcing that they are expecting another little one and sometimes I wonder when my next child can come.  Then I remember that we are in school right now and my life is crazy enough as it is. 

*I wish that I could magically blink and have my house in perfect order with all the furnishings I keep imagining perfectly in place. And then stay that way.  Oh, and all the foot marks on the walls and finger marks on the windows could magically disappear :)

*I wish that I wouldn't continue to be embarassed when someone shows up on our front porch and I look at the house and realize it is trashed YET AGAIN.

*I wish my kids could be content playing in our yard, instead of constantly harassing our neighbors down the street.  And then I wish that this particular family didn't act so "not friendly" when I come to pick up my child/children from their house.  I promise they just really really like your dog Mandy (name changed). Oh and your fun sand toys and dirt spot on the side of your house.

*I wish that I didn't have to work Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Labor Day, New Years Eve, and New Years Day. Also, every single 1/2 day and day off school Miss M has had so far this year. 

*I wish I could be the kind of Mom that is home every day as their children get home from school, with cookies in the oven and ready to just relax outside with everyone else while the kids all play together.

*I wish I could figure out how to get my two boys to fall asleep in the same room at the same time, and then they would not wake each other up in the morning.

*I wish my four year old had friends that were "his very own" and could accept not getting his way without a grand master temper tantrum each. and. every. time.  He has told me over and over that he thought I was finding him friends in New Hampshire before we moved.  It seriously breaks my heart when he tells me things like this.  Then he goes on to tell me he is a bad boy because he can't control his anger.  And my heart breaks yet again.

*I wish that I felt more connected with the people in my community and with the "Tuck Partner" group, and didn't feel like so much of an outsider.  Oh yeah, and add my church group to that list as well.

*I wish I had my Cortina 3rd ward church group here.  I miss them so much it almost hurts.  I became a Mom in Cortina and literally grew from being a semi-newlywed to an experienced Mom of three.  I had so many friends there that I could call up on a bad day or just to chat.  I felt involved in friend groups there like: co-op, queencreek friends, school carpool,  summer movie fun pals, girls night dinners, craft nights, etc.

*I wish that there were more children here that were my kids age as well.  I loved how I could arrange a playdate for any of my kids with just one phone call and then we could walk to that persons house in AZ.  I also miss my "Babysitting Co-Op" group from back home.  It made life so much easier to arrange guilt-free babysitting for the children when I needed a Mom only shopping trip, or for doctor's appointments.

*I wish that there were teenage babysitters in my area.  Or that the Clifford family could magically move into Sachem Village with me.  Their two girls were probably the best babysitters I have ever had.  They played with my kids and they loved my kids.  They would always ask when they could babysit again.  We had fairly consistent date nights with those two girlies around.

Now that I am officially done with my pity-party, let me re-iterate that we are okay.  We are enjoying the rural feel of New Hampshire.  We/I enoyed practicing cooking a Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday after the Holiday.  We have loved the weather thus far and are excited to be celebrating a {hopefully} white Christmas. We are excited to celebrate a more intimate Christmas with our little family.  I am learning how to be a more patient mother.  I am learning to lean more upon my Savior for help.  I am learning how to better teach my children more about God.  I feel myself being molded and stretched through a refining fire to someday become a masterpiece.  I feel myself drawing closer to God and trying harder to be more like Him. 

And with that I leave my Thankful/Unthankful Thanksgiving Post.